I Can't Sleep
by hpbrat2
Summary: Reposted from ceseabug - my old account. Harry and Ginny spend an awful summer apart only to learn that they are stronger together. Song fic.


**A/N: Again, it is an old story that I really don't particularly care for anymore but decided to post anyway. It was written pre-book 7, but I don't really remember when. As always, I own nothing but the stupid plot bunny that bit me. The song, though I'm not sure who wrote it, I first heard sung by Martina McBride, I believe, and I do not own that either.**

**This is a repost from ceseabug and has only had minor edits made.**

_I can't sleep _

_For dreaming about you_

_When you're gone_

_There's nothing I can do_

_But lie awake alone_

_And dream the whole night through  
I can't sleep  
For dreaming about you_

Harry rolled over yet again and stared at the ceiling. He'd only been asleep for about an hour before he began to dream again. He felt horrible for breaking up with Ginny, and now he was paying. The worst part was knowing he had done it right after Dumbledore's funeral. He'd been receiving letters from Ron and Hermione all summer, asking him if he knew why Ginny locked herself in her room all day and rarely ate. He never answered their letters. He never answered anyone's letters. They just made him feel worse than he already did. So, he stopped reading them all together, tossing them directly into the trash can when they arrived. He hadn't read any in over a week.

_I close my weary eyes  
And see your face  
I hold my pillow tight  
And dream of your embrace  
I know that I could use the rest  
But My lonely heart cries out for your caress_

Harry hadn't eaten much of anything since he and Ginny broke up two and a half weeks ago. He barely slept, and when he did it was always corrupted with dreams of Ginny. It was hard not to think about her, but he knew that he needed to keep her safe, which meant not letting Voldemort find out. It was a fruitless effort though, for she occupied all of his thoughts, both conscious and unconscious. And, to top it all off, about three times a week, he woke with tears streaming down his face. It was because of a dream he had. It was an awful dream. Voldemort found Ginny and killed her. The images were constantly replaying over and over in his mind. He couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't let that happen.

_I can't sleep  
For dreaming about you  
When you're gone  
There's nothing I can do  
But lie awake alone  
And dream the whole night through  
I can't sleep  
For dreaming about you_

He looked over at the clock. It was only four a.m. He laid there for another hour thinking of Ginny. Finally he gave up and decided to take a shower. He hadn't taken one in quite a few days and could smell himself. Harry walked into the bathroom, stripped to his boxers, and looked into the mirror. His hair was even messier than previously thought possible. He had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and worry. His normally bright emerald green eyes were dull and lifeless. His once thin frame was even smaller. He could easily count every bone in his chest. He'd lost all of the muscles and toning that he had built up from five years of Quidditch. He'd lost his tan making him look very drawn and pale. He looked absolutely sick.

He turned away from the mirror, disgusted with himself. He took a quick shower and threw on a clean pair of shorts. Normally, he would've gotten dressed completely but the Dursley's were out of town and wouldn't be home for another two days. When dressing, Harry started to feel dizzy. He knew he needed to sit down, but decided to wait until getting to his bed. It wasn't the best of choices, for when he got to the hall, he passed out.

_They say that absence makes a love grow stronger  
But I don't believe my empty arms can hold out any longer_

Ginny landed with a thump in the parlor of Number Four Privet Drive at six in the morning with Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. She had convinced them to let her come to pick up Harry. It was his seventeenth birthday and he was going to go stay at the Burrow for the remains of summer. She needed to speak with him, before he got a chance to avoid her. This way, he was trapped.

"Professor, which way is his room?"

"It's upstairs at the end of the hall on the right."

"I'll be back in a couple minutes with him."

"We'll be down here if you need anything."

Ginny nodded and moved up the stairs. At the sight of Harry's limp body, she stopped and swore quietly to herself. Quickly, she ran towards Harry and checked his pulse. When she finally found it, it was very weak. "Professor! I need help!"

Remus and Tonks ran upstairs. Ginny was performing Muggle rescue breathing on Harry, which she had learned in Muggle Studies. "Ginny, what happened?"

Tonks took over with her wand.

"I don't know. I came upstairs and he was lying here. He wasn't breathing, and he barely had a pulse." Tears were streaming down her face. "He looks so sick. I don't know what to do." She slid down the wall and started to sob.

"I'll go contact St. Mungo's." Remus ran back downstairs.

"Ginny, he'll be fine. Come over here and keep an eye on his pulse for me."

Ginny crawled over and put two fingers on his neck to keep check on his pulse. With her free hand she traced her fingers over his chest. He was so small. "He hasn't been eating," she muttered.

"Neither have you," Remus pointed out, coming up the stairs. "Mediwitches are on their way over. They should be here any second. Ginny, they will be here to get you too."

"What!"

"You've barely eaten anything and you hardly ever sleep. In a couple of days you could be in the same spot that Harry is. I'm not going to risk it."

"I don't think this decision is up to you to make."

"I talked to your mum before we left. She heartily agreed. She's worried about you, Ginny. I presume with the way you were acting that Harry would be in the same shape, so we were going to take you both directly to St. Mungo's. That's why your mum let you come with us."

Eight Mediwizards Apparated a few moments later and came running up the stairs with two stretchers.

"I hate you," Ginny spat, as she and Harry were carried away. Tonks followed them, but Remus stayed behind to pack and transport Harry's stuff to the Burrow.

And they left for the hospital. Tonks explained everything to the Healers. When she had finished, the Healer who was taking notes, turned to Ginny. "How do you know Mr. Potter?"

"He's my brother's best friend and we dated for a little bit last year," she said hesitantly, in a weak voice.

"Why are you both so sick?"

"I haven't eaten very much or slept in quite some time, and I presume that he hasn't either. My mother made me eat at least a little each day, but I was always sick afterwards. Harry's so-called-'family' doesn't care what happens to him, as long as he stays out of their way. That's probably why he's worse than I am."

"Why that long?"

"Dumbledore's death," answered Ginny quietly. "Harry blames himself. He hasn't said it, but I know he does. He always does. He witnessed Dumbledore's fall."

"There's another reason too, isn't there," the Healer asked even though it wasn't a question. He knew that Ginny was holding something back.

Ginny didn't answer.

"You said you 'were dating'. What do you mean?"

Ginny lost her temper. "He broke up with me okay! After the funeral. He told me a bunch of stuff that stresses him out and worries him, and he thinks that if we are dating than Voldemort will pick me as a target. Why doesn't he understand that I'm already a target? My whole family follows Dumbledore. Voldemort possessed me when I was twelve and then I was just his best friends little sister. He will always come after me, because Voldemort knows that Harry would do anything to protect me. Harry would do anything to protect anyone in my family." She was breathing hard and ragged breaths. "Can't you people just mind your own business!" And she passed out.

_I can't sleep  
For dreaming about you  
When you're gone  
There's nothing I can do  
But lie awake alone  
And dream the whole night through  
I can't sleep  
For dreaming about you_

Harry opened his eyes. What he first saw was that he was no longer in Privet Drive and that he was in pain. After waking up more, he noticed that he had something down his throat. They were gagging him. A Healer immediately rushed over to him. "Take it easy, Mr. Potter. If you relax for a moment I can get this tube out of your throat."

He choked as she pulled it out. "What was that for?" he asked, in a hoarse voice.

"That was what was keeping your airway open while you were in a coma."

"What?" he was confused. Why was he in a coma? What had happened? There wasn't another battle was there?

"You've been in a coma for two weeks," the Healer explained interrupting his thoughts. "It's lucky that Miss Weasley, Mr. Lupin, and Miss Tonks all found you when they did, or you'd probably be dead."

"What?" he asked even more confused than before.

"I'll let Mr. Lupin and Miss Tonks explain it to you. Will you let them come in?"

He nodded.

The Healer opened the door and called out into the hall. "He's awake."

A worried looking Professor Lupin and a very serene Tonks came in. "How are you?" Lupin asked.

"Why am I here?"

"Two weeks ago, we came to pick you up and take you to the Burrow. Ginny tagged along so she could talk to you. And when she came upstairs, you were unconscious in the hall, not breathing. You barely had a pulse. Both of you are now here because you weren't eating or sleeping. Would you mind telling me why?"

Harry sat up, then collapsed back again, not having the energy to stay sitting. "Ginny's here! Where is she? Is she alright? Can I see her?"

"She woke up from her coma yesterday. She's sleeping right now with a dreamless sleep potion. Both of you are in a lot of trouble."

"We didn't do anything wrong."

"You didn't eat! You didn't sleep! You ignored all the letters that everyone sent you! Harry, we were all starting to wonder if you had died!" Tonks exclaimed irately. Harry had never seen her angry before. It was scary to see her hair turn a fiery red.

_I can't sleep  
For dreaming about you _

"It's all my fault. Ginny shouldn't be here. Dumbledore wouldn't be gone if it weren't for me. I should be the one who's dead not him! If he hadn't taken the time to save me, he wouldn't have been disarmed and could have stopped all of that from happening. Then I broke up with Ginny. She's all I ever think about. I can't sleep because Voldemort will get into my dreams and go after her. I can't eat, because the thought of not being with her or being with her and her getting hurt makes me lose my appetite or start throwing up. Ron and Hermione made me feel so guilty. Don't blame them, I just couldn't read their letters anymore."

"Harry, why did you break up with Ginny?" Lupin asked carefully.

"I had to. She can't get hurt just so we can stay together. I can't put her in danger just so I can be happy."

"Harry, do you love her?" Tonks asked the teen softly.

Tears sprang to his eyes. "Yes," he answered quietly. "More than I've ever loved anything or anyone. That's why I broke up with her. I couldn't live if she got hurt and I could have stopped it, or because she was with me," his voice cracked and the tears he was trying so hard to hold back rolled silently down his cheeks. "I need to see her," he whispered, so softly that they barely heard him.

"Come on," Lupin helped Harry out of the bed and across the room. He sat down in the chair next to her bed. "We'll leave you alone for a few minutes." They left the room silently.

Harry held Ginny's hand tightly. Even though she was asleep, he started talking to her. "Ginny, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. The only reason you are here is because I broke up with you. Ginny, I never should have done that. Especially not right after Dumbledore's funeral. I was…" he paused, "I _am_ scared. I couldn't live if anything happened to you. Do you know why I didn't die when Voldemort tried to kill me when I was a baby? It was because of my mum. She wouldn't let him kill me. She loved me so much that she would rather die than see me die. Because of her self sacrifice, it left a special kind of magic on me. That's why I had to go to the Dursley's every summer. So I could renew the promise that my mum gave to me when I was a year old. Love saved my life then. Love is a power. It's the power that I have and Voldemort doesn't. I have the power to love. Love is a very special kind of magic. It is stronger than nearly everything else in the universe. Love is what is going to get me through this war. Gin, I love you. More than anything. I've never felt this way before. Sure I love your family and Hermione and all of them, but it's different with you. You make me happier than I have ever been in my life. Those few weeks when we were together was the first time I was truly happy in the past sixteen years. When I broke up with you, I just wanted to die. I was…" he paused again, "I _am _so stupid. Ginny, what I'm trying to say is…I love you. Nobody makes me happier. All I want is for you to be happy too. Can you ever forgive me?"

"I already have," came her soft voice.

Harry looked up at her face. During his little monolog he was just concentrating on her hand and didn't realize that she was awake. "Did…did you…did you hear everything?"

She nodded. "Harry, I love you. I always have."

He kissed the back of her hand. "Are you okay?"

"Are you?"

"I will be if you agree to be my girlfriend again."

"I'll agree if you promise never to hurt me again. I can't go through this another time. It was too much."

"I promise. Gin, I'll never, ever, hurt you again. That was the stupidest thing that I have ever done in my life."

"Then it looks to me as if we are dating again."

"Can I kiss you?"

She nodded.

He leaned forward and kissed her lovingly on the lips. "I'm so so sorry."

"Harry, it's okay."

"No, it's not. I never should have done that to you. Or to myself. I risked both of our lives because of one stupid act. If either of us had died…who knows what would have happened. Voldemort wouldn't have been able to be stopped."

"Yes, you did. But that's over now. We're going to get better than defeat Voldemort and the Death Eaters and make the world safe again. Quit worrying about it. We're both alive and, though not exactly well, we're getting better." She leaned forward and kissed him again. "Relax. Everything will turn out how it's supposed to."

He sighed. "How are you so sure?"

"I know you."

He smiled and kissed her again. When he pulled away, Ginny scoot over in her bed. She patted the bed beside her. Harry climbed in and lay down next to her. Together they fell into a deep, dreamless, peaceful sleep for the first time in a very long time.


End file.
